The Waiting for Babette

The Waiting for Babette
It is now more than 15 years since we met but my memory often goes back to the time when she came with a (girl) friend to have lessons with me. After some time her friend stopped but she continued. She was one of the melancholic faces you cannot forget. In my view this made her perfect for sad theatre roles she often played. Although she looked her young age and was a beauty you thought she has already suffered and experienced a lot in her life. A beautiful, thin, pure face with two sad and daydreaming eyes. Her beautiful black dress added to the beauty and melancholy. I think it was her sad face I fell in love with silently. I mean I never told her until she got married. No, wait a minute it was not only her face or eyes; it was her character which was as pure and flawless as her face. In fact her face and eyes only reflected her inner self. But as always I waited and waited until it was too late.

Shortly after I moved she moved to the north as well. She wrote about her new whereabouts, a place not faraway from me and suggested meeting again. But I felt overwhelmed and was anxious my facial muscles would freeze up. I couldn’t really relax to see her again, the anxiety was painful and so I started avoiding with the door closed behind me. For some time the memories came back and I felt guilty for rejecting her suggestion.

A short time ago I met her again in a department store in the same city we met the first time. She was now a mother to two daughters. She looked tired and embarrassed. Her former melancholic face bespoke now hardship. Her eyes were watery as if she has just cried herself to sleep. She told me in broken sentences she moved back to her hometown. We talked for a few minutes then she apologized and said: I am sorry I have to go but I will write soon. I hesitated first but then gave her my card. Today I found an envelope in my letterbox: a postcard with her New Year wishes in addition to an address card with a photo faintly depicting her in the background. Now I am at a loss about what to do but I already thought of closing the door behind me again. A New Year is approaching.

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