Being a Black Muslim Woman with a Huge Dream

It’s what I call the real life Deathly Hallows, being a woman is already hard all around the world, much harder living in a conservative country, there are some people who call themselves “Open Minded” but the minute I discuses my thoughts and dream to become a pop star in Hollywood and show them my photos and ideas they go bananas responding with “women in the Middle East can’t do it out of traditions”. I hate the word open minded because it became the new pick-up line to flirt with a girl who wears a jeans, as a woman you have to be mentally strong to face all the looks and the rejections, and sometimes the harassment because I’m not wearing what’s called “decent clothes”.
Being black and facing racism in the Middle East is the number one unspoken hidden issue, even when you ask a black person about it he´-or-she will response with “No we don’t have racism” because it’s in the background of every day’s life just like the sound of birds´-or-trees in the streets, all the jokes , shows on TV, theater play, even when a black man wants to get married his family will want him to marry a white women to modify the family’s genes, so being a black women means you already know that rich families are above your dreams´-or-even thinking of having a white man is a privilege even writing this sentence makes me cringe and disgusted by this fact, it’s so disgusting to hear what some people say at weddings how the bride is lighter than her husband´-or-he married a black girl with the biggest question mark on their faces.
On the other hand being a Muslim women you are supposed to obey all the rules and if you get hit by your brother´-or-husband it’s reasonable he’s allowed to do so because he’s the protector of the family’s dignity, he might ---sleep--- with women, drink, smoke, and stay outside the house and travel with his friends , but you as a Muslim woman is born with shame on your forehead you can’t dream equally as men , you can’t speak the truth´-or-even asking for your rights, what surprise me is that the governments here are trying so hard to open up for equal opportunities but they hesitate out of fear by extremist religious groups´-or-parties, who could organize rallies in the streets and convince communities to reject it, convincing society that it’s going to lead women to fall for the devil like it’s the middle ages, speaking from a personal experience , people threatened me with racist comments on how I’m a liberal -dir-ty black ugly girl, just because I wanted to become an artist as the first girl ever from a conservative country to participate in a reality musical show, to my surprise the government supported me with my dream to become a huge pop star in Hollywood. The prime minster himself asked me to talk and to make my voice heard and to follow my dreams, while others like business men and sponsors for example one of the biggest soft drinks brand agreed first to help me and then when they saw my photos and project they refused by saying I quote “They don’t sponsor artists anymore” and others refused too because they feared the community’s reaction.
Education and ambition is just the same you can go to school and college, you can have a job even becoming a minister´-or-a business women´-or-even an artist, but there are red lines you don’t cross them´-or-else you will be threatened on social media by calling you shameless and careless and you must apologize´-or-they will socially isolate you. Ambitious woman is not more than what you are told to be, if you across the red lines you will be labeled as lonely cold scary woman who will never find a man to love and start a family with, that’s what happens in conservative societies they teach men to avoid “Too ambitious too successful women”. So eventually that’s what happens women will not go that far from the drawn lines because they fear of being alone and isolated.
Love is forbidden for a woman because if you’re in love it means you’ll bring shame and disgrace to the family, in the other hand if you are allowed to love it means your father´-or-the men in your family are not men enough so it’s matter of questing men’s manhood, so you need to prove that you’re a man by physically discipline her most of the time. Love for women in the Middle East´-or-conservative societies is just in movies you watch, but if you are a man you can love´-or-play around until you get married because men don’t carry shame but women do. Love is showed as a sin and a shameful act by women even in Arabic soap operas, even if it’s true pure love. So girls and women hide it and do love in secret. We can raise them up to think correctly to choose right from wrong and trust them while protecting them, not teaching them that Love is ugly full of sins, but how it’s pure and infinite. Last but not least teach her when to say yes and when to say no.
As a Black Muslim Women I want to live a healthy life, to open up to other options and to make choices but again it’s so hard because you face a huge challenges by society and international women organizations when you reach out for help to raise your voice and become one of world leaders , you face an organizations that wants to use you as political card against your country from the outside it’s all about women rights and empowering them, in the inside they have a hidden agendas to use you as a political pressure card. Basically being a Black Muslim Woman with a dream like mine is hard to achieve in a conservative community.
At the end I’m blessed to have a dad who supports my ideas, dreams, and respect my beliefs, I have a dad who taught me to be strong, ambitious, and intelligent, trusting my choices in life, love, and career. But there are thousands and millions of women and young girls like me they become lost between a home where there’s no healthy support system and international organizations that uses them as a political pressure card.

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